I’ve just come back from an amazing two days with a group of powerful coaches led by my friend and mentor Steve Chandler. One of the games we played towards the end of the second day was called “the dream and the fear”.

Each person in the room was asked to come up with a dream – i.e. something that they really wanted to have, be or do in their lives – and a fear – i.e. something they were afraid might prevent them from having, being or doing it.

As we went round the room and people shared their fondest dreams and darkest fears, I noticed how dramatically different they appeared when they were talking about their dreams then when they were focused on their fears. Each person would come alive when describing their dreams, as though suddenly possessed by an animating spirit.

But as soon as they began talking about their fears, their bodies would deflate and their life force would leave them like air hissing out of a punctured tire. It was in witnessing this phenomenon repeated time and time again, person after person that I was struck with an ‘obvious’ but previously hidden insight:

*Our dreams carry with them the energy for their achievement; our fears carry with them the energy of our defeat

By way of analogy, imagine you are an athlete about to head out into the arena for the big game. Your trainer offers you one of two energy drinks to prepare yourself. The first one, the trainer tells you, has a secret ingredient which will energize your body and your mind and inspire you to do things you don’t even know are possible for you. The second will give you stomach aches, nausea, and make you want to stay in bed with the covers pulled up over your head.

Which one would you take?

Ridiculous as that analogy might seem, every time we choose to focus on our fears instead of our dreams, we are actually pouring toxic waste into our bodies; every time we choose to re-focus our attention on what we truly want, we are refueling our bodies, renewing our minds and recharging our spirits.

And the secret ingredient in the “energy drink” of our dreams is simply hope.

Here’s my definition of “hope”:

Hope is the magic elixir that energizes dreams and fuels possibilities. It is not a promise that something you want will happen – it is an invitation to enjoy the possibility of what you want while you and life negotiate the eventual outcome.

And here’s what is perhaps the key to the whole game:

There is never a good reason not to hope.
Hope is always just a choice.

—————–
Today’s Experiment:
—————–

1. What’s your dream?

  • If you could have absolutely anything happen for you over the next year, five years, or whatever time frame you’d like to explore, what would you want to have happen?
  • If you really could create anything you wanted in your life, what would you choose to create?
  • What would you want if you knew you didn’t have to be unhappy about not getting it?
  • What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

2. What are you afraid might stop you?

  • If you take on your dream and fail, why will you have failed?
  • If you could eliminate one obstacle to living your dream, which obstacle would you eliminate and why?
  • What’s going to be the hardest part of waking up your dream and bringing it to life?

3. Take a few moments to review your dream. Notice how you feel. If you’re not feeling energized, take the extra step of deliberately adding “hope” to your imaginings – in other words, just for now, imagine how wonderful it would be if you actually did succeed in making your dreams come true.

4. Now take a few moments to review your fears. Again, notice how you feel.

5. Make a choice – do you want to focus on your dreams or your fears? Which focus will make living your dreams more likely?

If you’re concerned that not focusing on your fears will leave you open to danger, realize that the opposite is true. Since your fears exist only in your head, the more you focus on them the less you are able to focus on what is actually going on in the world around you. The more you step outside of the “dark imaginings” of your mind and drop down into your body and the world around you, the easier it will be to handle any real challenges that may come your way.

Have fun, learn heaps, and happy exploring!

With love,
michael